The Bungai: Ancestry, Identity, and the Iban Connection to Nature

The Iban believe that the self is not limited to the body or the soul that wanders in dreams. Our ancestors believed that each person has a bungai, which is a plant-image that lives in the invisible world of Manang Menjaya, the god of healing. This plant-image takes the form of bamboo or banana and grows in clumps from a single rootstock. It is a powerful way of understanding human life. The bungai grows, strengthens, weakens, dies, and falls to the ground, just as a person does.

When I first heard about this idea, it stuck with me for days. It helped me see the forest differently and understand why the Iban imagine the community the way they do. In this worldview, no one grows alone. We rise from the same source. Relationships, ancestry, and connections we can’t see hold us together in ways that go far beyond our personal stories. This belief feels very grounding at a time when many of us feel adrift or disconnected.

The choice of bamboo and banana is meaningful. These plants do not grow by themselves. They grow in clumps, called bepumpun. A single shoot is part of a larger body that gets its nutrients from the same soil and root. Every shoot has its own height, shape, and direction, but they all come from the same source. This is how the Iban once understood family. A family is one clump. A longhouse community is made up of many clumps. The forest itself becomes a reflection of the social world.

This is not a metaphor for the sake of beauty. People who live close to the land learn its pattern by observing it daily. The Iban watched how plants behave, how they survive storms, and how they keep growing new shoots even after the old ones fall off. The Iban were shaped by the rainforest, and it was a teacher, a mirror, and a guide.

The bungai makes this idea clearer. It shows us that each person is both unique and part of a lineage. A child is a new shoot from an old rootstock. The state of one shoot affects the whole clump. The well-being of the entire garden reflects the condition of the longhouse. No one exists apart from the others who stand beside them. Even in the unseen world, the Iban imagined people living bepumpun, connected through generations, place, memory, and spiritual obligations. 

I find this comforting. There were times in my life when I felt distant from my roots. Leaving home for school, work and marriage created gaps I did not understand at the time. I lived away from Sarawak for many years. I felt as though I was a shoot attempting to thrive in soil that was not my own. Learning about the bungai made me see that the rootstock never disappears. The connection stays even after we leave. We are still held by the unseen garden. It doesn’t matter how far someone travels; the lineage remains.

Another thing I appreciate about the bungai is how it reflects emotional and spiritual states. The bungai becomes weaker when a person is sick. It withers when the soul wanders. This worldview recognizes how closely the body, mind, and emotions are connected. It respects how complicated it is to be human. A withered feeling is not seen as weakness but as a sign that the self needs care, grounding, or healing. Manang Menjaya is responsible for this realm, taking care of the gardens of human life like a healer tends to the sick. It is a gentle belief shaped by compassion.

The idea that the bungai falls when someone dies is also meaningful. The clump remains alive and ready to push a new shoot upward for the next generation. The rootstock stays strong. The lineage continues. There is sorrow, but there is also continuity. The living remain connected to those who came before them.

When I reflect on this, I see how the bungai offers us a way to think about community in today’s world.  Many of us live far from home. Some grow up with mixed heritage, navigating several identities at once. Some people don’t feel connected to their language, their land, or their family’s history. The bungai concept reminds us that belonging isn’t just about being close to someone physically. It also has to do with our shared ancestry, memories, and the unseen ties that still hold us together.

The forest shows us that we can’t survive alone. Bamboo stands because the clump stands. A community stays together because its roots are strong. Long before the words “ecology” or “sustainability” were even used, our ancestors knew this. They practiced it when they built longhouses, shared food, and worked the land. They lived in a world where the rhythms of nature and community supported each other.

Writing about the bungai feels like returning to a memory I never knew I had. It combines culture, spirituality, and nature in a way that feels very Iban. It makes me think of how our people used to observe the forest, learn its patterns, and keep it in balance. The bungai is more than just a spiritual idea. It is a way of looking at life that sees it as connected, continuous, and held by something greater than the self.

I want to honor this understanding as I continue working on my cultural projects. I want the Iban in the diaspora, those growing up with mixed heritage, and those rediscovering their language again to know that our roots are still alive, even when we feel far from them. The bungai reminds us that we come from the same source, and the clump endures.

One Clump
If we were bamboo,
we would be one rootstock.
Two shoots from the same source
fed by the same unseen tenderness
running under everything.

You would lean into me
when the wind turns,
and I would hold fast
with a strength drawn
from the ground we share.

A clump is a world.
A home where no stalk stands alone.
Each one rises
because the others do.
The root simply refuses
to forget a single one.

I want that with you—
a belonging without effort.
Our lives rising
from the same dark earth,
so that even Menjaya
counting lives in his garden,
would find us together.

If you falter, I stand closer.
If you bend, I become your spine.
We are two lives
shaped by each other’s nearness.

If we are a clump, love,
then we are one living thing—
one root,
one anchor,
one quiet refusal
to ever rise alone.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

Aji Apai Limpa: The Ancestor I Wish I Could Meet

Image source

Some mornings begin with a calm sense of familiarity. The air is still cool from the night when I step outside. Dew gathers on the grass, clinging to each blade as if it has been waiting there. In Iban, we call it ambun, and I grew up believing that it is more than moisture. We believe that ambun holds memories and also the substance of our ancestors that find their way back into the living world. The elders in my family often spoke about the cycle of the soul. This belief is deeply held among the Saribas Iban, where my ancestors lived. When someone dies, their soul travels to Sebayan, the land of the dead, traditionally believed to be located at Batang Mandai in Kapuas, West Kalimantan, Borneo. Life in Sebayan mirrors life here. Souls continue living in longhouses, planting rice, raising families, and keeping the same rhythms they once had on earth.

This cycle is not eternal. The soul is believed to live and die seven times. After the seventh death, whatever remains dissolves into a fine mist that falls back to earth as ambun. The dew is especially meaningful at the end of the dry season, when families complete their planting and the land waits for water. The ambun nourishes the young paddy shoots, feeding the next generation. It is a beautiful belief, one I never questioned when I was young. I simply accepted that those who had gone before us returned quietly each morning. When I saw thick dew on the grass, I thought of people I loved who were no longer here, finding their way back to us through the rice we depended on.

I have been thinking about this belief again today because of a simple question from a blog prompt: If you could meet a historical figure, who would it be, and why? It is a straightforward question for most people, but for me, it brings up a feeling I can only describe as longing. In the history of the Iban, the figure I would choose is not distant. He is not a king, a philosopher, or someone from a faraway land. He is my ancestor. My great-great-great-grandfather, Aji Apai Limpa.

Aji was a well-known war leader of the Saribas Iban in the mid-nineteenth century. Between 1854 and 1858, he led his warriors against the advancing rule of the second White Rajah, Charles Brooke. His resistance was fierce and relentless. He died in 1858 in a battle at Sg. Langit. His bravery was not only remembered; it was immortalized in the oral traditions of the Iban. The lemambang (bards) recited his name in their ritual poetry. His courage became part of the narrative of our people, carried through chants and invocations, passed from one generation to the next.

If I could meet him, I would not meet him as a historical figure. I would meet him as an ancestor whose choices shaped the path that eventually led to me. I wonder what he was like as a person outside of battle. I wonder what he feared, what he hoped for, and what drove him to carry responsibility that heavy. The written records focus on warfare and resistance, but I imagine a man who also worried about his people, who made decisions that weighed on him, a man who had moments of doubt and understood that his actions would have consequences beyond his lifetime.

I would ask him what courage meant to him. I would ask him what it felt like to stand in front of his warriors and lead them into danger. I would ask him how he held his ground when the world around him was changing. And I would want to know what he thought about the legacy he would leave behind. There are times when people describe me as sharp or strong-willed, and I think about where those traits may have come from. Perhaps those traits were passed down from him to me, just as ambun returns to nourish the young paddy shoots without anyone noticing.

I think about the belief in Sebayan and how it shapes the way I imagine meeting him. I do not picture a physical meeting. I see it more as a recognition, something that happens inwardly through the echoes that live within us. When I feel the urge to protect my roots or speak about my heritage, I think that he might be part of that voice. The belief that the soul returns as dew makes the idea of connection feel less abstract. If ambun holds the last traces of our ancestors, we may encounter them repeatedly through the land, the rice, and the aspects of ourselves that seem older than our years.

The blog prompt seems simple, but it opens a deeper reflection for me. Meeting a historical figure means meeting someone who has shaped the world you inherited. For me, that figure is not distant or symbolic. He is the ancestor whose bloodline runs through mine, whose story lives on in my people’s poetry, and whose bravery still affects how I live my life.

When the ambun is heavy on the grass in the morning, I think about the souls who have traveled their full journey through Sebayan and returned to nourish the living. I imagine Aji among them. I think that in some small way, he is still here, still part of the cycle that continues without end. And in that sense, the meeting I long for might already be happening in the early morning, when the world is still and the dew falls softly on the ground.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

The Traditional Path of an Iban Weaver

Among the Iban, weaving has always been a measure of a woman’s place in the community. The knowledge is passed down from mother to daughter, usually when a girl enters her teenage years. She learns each stage with patience: preparing cotton yarn, tying the threads, selecting designs, and working through the complex dyeing process. Every step includes a ritual to maintain balance with the spirit world. A weaver must be skilled, but she must also be spiritually open in order to progress. Through weaving, she learns how to approach the unseen forces that shape her life as a woman and as an artist.

A weaver must follow the traditional sequence of learning. If she attempts skills before she is ready, she risks falling into layu, a state of spiritual deadness. Elders say this condition can affect both the mind and body, and once it takes hold, death is believed to be the only release. Every Iban woman understands this danger, so she approaches her craft with devotion and deep caution.

Pua kumbu is a way to understand a woman’s status. Her rank depends on the dyes she uses, the complexity of her patterns, the precision of her technique, and her relationship with the spiritual world. A pua is not judged by beauty alone. It reflects the weaver’s inner state, her discipline, and the spiritual guidance she receives. Even though many Iban families today have adopted modern beliefs, the traditional criteria for judging a pua still hold meaning. The rituals and techniques behind each piece continue to define its value.

There are several ranks within the weaving world. At the first level are women who do not weave, called Indu Asi Indu Ai or Indu Paku Indu Tubu. They may not come from weaving families or may lack the resources to learn. Much of their time is spent farming and managing household life, and they cannot afford the labour or materials needed for weaving.

The next group consists of women known for their hospitality, called Indu Temuai Indu Lawai. These women usually have enough rice, help, and stability to weave simple designs. With guidance from others, they can produce basic patterns such as creepers or bamboo motifs.

A novice learns within strict boundaries set by tradition. She begins with a small piece of cloth and a simple pattern called buah randau takong randau. She may only weave a cloth that is fifty kayu in width. As her skills improve, she increases the width of her work. By her tenth pua, she will reach a width of 109 kayu. These rules are deeply respected, as they are believed to originate from the spirit world.

When a woman becomes skillful, she is known as Indu Sikat Indu Kebat. She can weave recognised patterns but cannot create her own. Her designs come from motifs passed down through her ancestry. If she wishes to learn new patterns, she must make ritual payment to a more experienced weaver in exchange for permission to use them.

A higher rank is held by the Indu Nengkebang Indu Muntang. She is able to invent new designs, often revealed to her through dreams. She has the ability to attempt complex and spiritually demanding motifs. Her community respects her greatly, and she wears a porcupine quill tied with red thread as a mark of distinction. Other weavers pay her well for new motifs.

At the top of the hierarchy is the Indu Takar Indu Ngar. She is a master dyer, a master weaver, and a ritual specialist. She understands the exact balance of mordants and natural dyes and knows how to fix colour to cotton successfully. Many people know the basic ingredients, but only those with spiritual guidance can complete the process with precision. Her knowledge is both technical and sacred.

To reach this level, a woman must excel in all areas of weaving and dyeing. She must also receive recognition from the spiritual world. This acknowledgment often comes in dreams, which serve as both initiation and confirmation. Sometimes another person dreams on her behalf, affirming her role. Many women at this level come from long lines of weavers and dyers, inheriting designs, dye knowledge, charms, and the support of ancestors whose status once brought additional labour to their families. This allows her to devote herself fully to her craft.

The Indu Takar Indu Ngar is responsible for the ritual preparations of the mordant bath. The ceremony includes animal sacrifice, offerings, and prayer. It is known as kayau indu, or women’s warfare. The ritual is private and demanding, and the leader must be courageous. If she loses control of the spiritual forces present, she risks falling into layu. Her bravery is regarded as equal to that of a warrior.

She also plays an important role in public ceremonies. During Gawai Burong, she scatters glutinous rice at the ceremonial pole. During Gawai Antu, she prepares garong baskets to honour the master weavers of earlier generations. When she dies, her funeral is filled with praise, and her worth is compared to that of a prized jar. Her husband receives honour as well.

Every pua kumbu carries the status of its weaver. Its complexity, width, ritual purpose, and intended use shape its value. Pua kumbu textiles accompany every stage of life and death for those who still observe traditional Iban practices. Each design is tied to a specific ritual, and the ritual gains its character from the cloth chosen for it. This is why pua kumbu remains central to the spiritual life of Iban women.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

My First Group Exhibition in Malaysia and A New Zine in the Making

Tomorrow is the soft launch of Akar Kita Abadi, the group exhibition I’ve been preparing for the past few weeks. I will exhibit several of my Iban heritage poems called Rituals and Rivers, and holding these printed booklets, which just arrived, feels like a confirmation of all the time spent writing, editing, and polishing. This little booklet (or zine) has 10 poems from a much bigger collection of Iban heritage poetry that I want to publish in 2026. I will be selling these booklets during the exhibition and they are quite limited in number. I will share more about the exhibition after the launch tomorrow. I can’t share pictures until after the launch so I can’t really say much about the whole thing. The exhibition will last until 23 November so if you’re in Klang Valley, you may want to drop by and give us your support. 

While this exhibition marks the beginning of sharing that collection publicly, another project has started to take root in parallel. I have begun working on a new zine that will focus entirely on Iban women. This project seems like a continuation of Rituals & Rivers, but through a more personal viewpoint. It will look at various facets of Iban womanhood, from ancient times to the present.

Every page will be hand-drawn using pencil and black fine liners, but for the actual zine they will be edited and printed. Drawing by hand has a grounding effect, allowing each line to have its own rhythm and imperfection. The only printed text will be the longer passages and explanations, saving space while keeping the design balanced. I have not planned the number of pages or illustrations yet. I like to let the process evolve spontaneously. Each piece generally begins as a poem or a brief reflection before taking on a visual shape.

One of the first illustrations is inspired by women who sing to the moon as their laughter threads through the bamboo. Another drawing shows the anak umbung, the daughter of an Iban war leader who was raised apart from others and taught weaving skills. Her story has stayed with me, serving as a reminder of the beauty and self-control that once entwined women’s lives. There is also a drawing of a woman tending to the hearth before dawn. These aren’t big moments; they’re small actions that show tenderness, duty, and strength in Iban women. 

This new zine will be based on the same ideas as Rituals & Rivers, but it will focus more closely on the daily and the personal.  It will explore what it means to be an Iban woman across generations, including the traditions that are passed down, the unspoken resilience, and the actions that connect one life to another. It’s a way for me to listen to the voices of the women who came before me and to honor how their spirit still lives on in us now.

I don’t know what the completed zine will be like, but I know it will develop slowly, page by page, just like stories used to do, with care and patience.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

The Forgotten Script of My Ancestors | Remembering the Papan Turai

The majority of us are familiar with Egyptian hieroglyphics. However, not many people are aware that the Iban used to have their own type of pictorial writing. My ancestors’ written language, known as “turai,” is carved onto wooden boards called “papan turai.” During major festivals like Gawai Batu and Gawai Antu, lemambang (ritual bards) used these boards to recall and recite the pengap (folk epics), timang (invocations), and many other types of Iban poetry (leka main asal).

The papan turai is more than just a ceremonial piece. It serves as a link between oral and written tradition. Some of these carved symbols date back about four centuries. They preserve fragments of genealogy (tusut), the Iban’s migration history from the Kapuas region of Kalimantan to Sarawak, and even tales of tribal conflicts and legendary Iban leaders.

Researchers from the Sarawak Museum and UNIMAS have been examining these boards to find out what they symbolize. What is remarkable is that lemambang from various areas can comprehend each other’s papan turai. This demonstrates that there was once a common symbolic language among people in different communities.

This discovery goes against the previous belief that the Iban were completely “pre-literate” before Western influence arrived. The papan turai shows that our forefathers had their own way of keeping records of what they knew, which was based on ritual, cosmology, and collective memory. It reminds us that being able to read and write doesn’t just imply knowing the alphabet and how to write on paper.

In 1947, an Iban scholar named Dunging anak Gunggu expanded upon this tradition. He developed a whole writing system based on turai. However, few people know about this writing system, even among Sarawakians.

When I stood in front of the papan turai at the Borneo Cultures Museum, I felt a sense of recognition. They reminded me of the pua kumbu patterns that Iban women wove to tell stories about spirits, dreams, and journeys. Both have the same goal: to record, remember, and preserve meaning alive beyond the present.

It made me realize that each culture had its unique way of retaining memories. Some people carve it into stone, some into wood, others into sound, and yet others into cloth. For the Iban, it may have been all of these things at once. The lemambang sang what the papan turai contained, and the pua weavers wove tales and ancestral history into the thread. These were our books before books.

As I stood there, I thought about how easily such histories fade away. It’s not because they aren’t relevant, but because they aren’t documented in the systems that the world relies on. The papan turai lived on through continuity of ritual and faith. Its knowledge lived on through the lemambang, in various ceremonies and festivals, and in the community gathered around the ruai during Gawai. When modern eyes look at the papan turai, they may see only strange markings. But these are not just symbols. They hold our heritage. They are reminders that our people were already keeping records of their lives in their own way long before British colonials came with pen and paper. However, I am not sure how long we can keep them alive, as the lemambang is becoming a dying breed of heritage guardians of the Iban. 

I felt pride and loss as I left the museum that day. Pride, since the papan turai shows that Iban civilization was more complicated and deep than most people realize. Loss, because so few of us can interpret those symbols today.

Maybe this is why I write and draw. I want to continue that old rhythm in a new form. My writings and drawings are like my own papan turai, illustrating the lines that connect the past and the present. I strive to document things that could otherwise disappear, including stories from my indigenous perspective, feelings, and fragments of my identity.

To me, the papan turai is more than an artifact. It is a mirror that reflects an ancient hunger to make meaning clear and to preserve memories alive before they disappear. And maybe that instinct to leave a mark and to tell a story is something that never truly goes away. It exists in our language, our art, and our digital words. It’s the same urge that led a lemambang to carve symbols into wood hundreds of years ago, hoping that someone would remember it someday.

Sources: Religious Rites and Customs of the Iban or Dyaks of Sarawak by Leo Nyuak and Edm. Dunn (1906), UNIMAS Gazette. 


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

Iban Augury | The Language of Birds and the Art of Listening

Prior to the coming of Christianity and Islam, the Iban people had a sophisticated system of animistic beliefs. The world was believed to be filled with spirits—some friendly, others unpredictable—who lived in jungles, rivers, animals, and dreams. The desire to live in harmony with these invisible forces influenced many aspects of life, from farming and hunting to warfare and family decisions. 

Augury, or “beburong” in Iban, was one of the most intricate systems in this belief. It is a sacred form of divination that uses the movements and sounds of certain birds known as burung mali (omen birds) to seek direction. The practice was said to have been taught to humans by Sengalang Burong, the Iban God of War and divine messenger. He taught that the gods do not speak directly but send their messages through the natural world.

Every omen bird has a specific meaning. The interpretation of their cries, flight paths, and actions guides important decisions, such as whether to start planting paddy, go on a journey, or go to war.  The tuai burong, an augur who can read and understand the language of birds, is responsible for figuring out what these signs mean. This cultural duty used to be a big part of Iban life because it was a way for people to connect spiritually and keep their conduct in line with God’s will.

Oral history states that Sengalang Burong and his wife, Endu Sudan Berinjan Bungkong, had seven daughters and one son. Each daughter married a nobleman who became one of the seven omen birds: Ketupong (Rufous Piculet), Beragai (Scarlet-Rumped Trogon), Bejampong (Crested Jay), Pangkas (Maroon Woodpecker), Embuas (Banded Kingfisher), Kelabu Papau (Diard’s Trogon), and Burung Malam, which literally means “night bird” but is a cricket. The eighth omen bird, Nendak (White-Rumped Shama), is Sengalang Burong’s faithful messenger. All of these are real, common bird species that live in the Borneo rainforest.

Sengalang Burong passed down the knowledge of augury to his grandson, Sera Gunting. Sera Gunting is the son of Sengalang Burong’s eldest daughter, Endu Dara Tinchin Temaga, and her second husband, a man named Menggin. Sera Gunting also learned the omens of war when he joined a ngayau (headhunting) expedition with his seven uncles—the noblemen who married Sengalang Burong’s daughters. He later passed his knowledge to his descendants. Linggir Mali Lebu, Orang Kaya Pemancha Dana Bayang, and Unggang Lebor Menoa were among the subsequent generations of Iban war leaders who observed and practiced the war omens he had learned.

Sengalang Burong also taught Sera Gunting about the different stages of Gawai Burong, the festival that war leaders had to hold to invite him and his followers to attend. That is a story and post for another time.

All the omen birds mentioned above can still be found in Borneo’s rainforests. I have never seen them in the wild or heard their calls in person, but last month, when I visited the Borneo Cultures Museum, I had the opportunity to hear recorded calls from Beragai and Embuas. I could hear the sound of wind, insects, and other birds in the distance along with their calls in the recordings. It was difficult to tell which bird made which sound. It reminded me that to practice augury, you needed to believe and have an attentive ear to pay close attention to the different bird calls.

Those recordings brought back a memory from my childhood. When I was nine years old, my parents decided to adopt the baby son of a relative. They had everything ready: a small bassinet, baby clothes, and the trip to the longhouse where the child was staying. They had to walk through the jungle for three hours to reach the place. 

Along the way, they encountered an omen bird. I don’t know which one it was, but a tuai burong was consulted to explain the sign. He advised my parents not to continue. He said that if they went through with the adoption, the boy would grow up to “overrule” me and my siblings, which means he would prosper more than us and that we might fall into misfortune. My parents took the advice and chose not to go through with it. The baby stayed with his other relatives, and that was the end of it.

Looking back, I understand that moment not as superstition but as a reflection of how much faith my parents had in the way things were meant to be. They thought that signs meant something and that the natural world could warn or guide us through nature’s language. It was a way of life built on attention, not control. However, it didn’t stop me from wondering, what if the boy experienced a difficult childhood filled with poverty and hardship and was denied the chance to live a better life due to the bird’s signs?

Today I realized how rarely I listen. The world around me is full of noise—machines, traffic, and incessant messages devoid of meaning. Even in silence, my mind is busy with thoughts, endless scrolling, or work. Listening feels like a lost art. I no longer know how to hear what my forefathers intuitively understood: that signs came quietly, without noise or spectacle.

I’m not sure if anyone still practices augury today. Perhaps a few elders still possess fragments of that knowledge. Even if it is no longer practiced, I hope that Ibans, particularly the younger generation, understand its origins and significance. Beburong was once central to how our people made decisions and understood their relationship with nature. It influenced how they approached the world—with respect, patience, and a willingness to listen. Perhaps I’ll never see those birds in the wild or hear their true calls across the forest. But I’d like to believe they’re still there, their voices blending with the wind, delivering guidance that once guided entire communities.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

Diplomacy Does Not Mean Endorsement

Last night, I responded to a post on Threads about Donald Trump’s visit to Malaysia for the ASEAN Summit. The original post questioned why Malaysians who support Palestine were not outraged that Trump was coming. I replied that world politics does not revolve around the Palestinian issue alone and that diplomacy requires engagement, even with those we disagree with.

What happened next wasn’t a conversation; it was an attack. Someone called me naive and even used my identity as an Indigenous woman against me. She said that as an Iban, I should know more about land grabs and colonialism, and she implied that I was betraying that history by defending engagement with the United States. She cited Cuba as a model, saying Malaysia should isolate itself, like Cuba, and reject American influence completely.

I understood where the emotion came from. The Palestinian struggle resonates with many of us, as it reflects the shared anguish of displacement and dehumanization endured by other marginalized groups. It has come to stand for the fight against empire and global injustice. I grieve for them too. But that one conflict isn’t the cause of all the crises in the world. Congo, Sudan, Myanmar, and West Papua all have their own histories, shaped by local power struggles, colonial legacies, and modern exploitation. The Palestinian cause is not the origin of imperialism, but it is part of a larger pattern of it.

The comparison to Cuba also didn’t take into account how complicated our region is. Cuba’s defiance of the United States is often romanticized, but the reality is much harsher. Years of economic sanctions have caused suffering and shortages. Cuba remained steadfast, but the isolation it endured came at a heavy cost to its people. That path is not possible for Malaysia. We are not an island nation shielded from regional shifts. We are part of ASEAN, a bloc that survives through dialogue, consensus, and constant balancing between larger powers.

To disengage would not make us righteous. It would make us irrelevant. Sovereignty is not merely about being alone. It is also about having a seat at the table where decisions are made. Engagement does not mean agreement. We live in the world as it is, not as we wish it to be.

Malaysia’s invitation to Trump did not mean endorsement of his policies or his past actions. It was part of ASEAN’s long-established diplomatic practice. The United States has been a formal partner in ASEAN-led dialogues since 2009, when President Obama signed the Treaty of Amity and Cooperation (TAC). The treaty symbolized a willingness to follow the “ASEAN Way,” a diplomatic approach that values non-interference, consensus, and mutual respect. The TAC made it possible for the US to join the East Asia Summit, where world powers discuss cooperation and regional security.

The Obama administration strengthened this relationship by shifting American focus from the Middle East to the Indo-Pacific through the Pivot to Asia. This decision acknowledged the growing economic and political importance of Asia, as well as China’s rapid rise. The US began to engage with ASEAN more seriously, not out of charity, but because it seeks stability in the region to serve its interests. That engagement, even if self-serving, gave ASEAN leverage over China, which was becoming more dominant.

We cannot ignore China’s role in the region. In the past decade, it has become more aggressive in the South China Sea by building artificial islands, expanding military presence, and encroaching into maritime zones claimed by Vietnam, the Philippines, and Malaysia. This has placed ASEAN in a difficult position. China is vital economically but intimidating strategically. The United States functions as a counterweight in this situation. Without an external balancing force, Beijing could exert complete dominance over Southeast Asia.

This is the uncomfortable truth of international politics: moral clarity and strategic necessity rarely align. Malaysia can speak out against injustice in Palestine and still maintain good relations with the United States. We can be against occupation and still welcome dialogue. These positions do not contradict each other. They are two forms of survival that coexist.

It is easy to demand purity from the sidelines, but governance requires nuance. To those who use identity as a weapon, I say this: being Iban does not mean rejecting engagement or diplomacy. My ancestors fought when they had to and negotiated when they must. They understood that survival depends on knowing when to speak and when to listen. Being practical is not disloyal. It is wisdom passed down from generations who understood the cost of isolation.

Cuba resisted and endured decades of hardship. Malaysia engages because we have learned a different truth, that sometimes the best thing we can do for our people is to keep showing up, even when it is uncomfortable. Diplomacy does not mean endorsement. It is how small nations stay relevant. It is also how Indigenous voices remain part of the global conversation and how we hold our place between superpowers that shape our future.

Note:

I am not a political expert. As a Malaysian Iban woman, I’m trying to figure out how history and power affect where we stand in the world. I’m not trying to defend any leader or nation. I’m just trying to remind myself that ideals don’t mean much if they lack a basis in reality. I believe small nations can hold both principle and pragmatism, just like people can be both kind and rational.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

Sengalang Burong and the Origins of Iban Augury

Before the arrival of Christianity and Islam, the Iban people practiced a complex system of animistic belief. The world was seen as alive with spirits; some benevolent, some unpredictable, residing in rivers, jungles, animals, and dreams. The desire to stay in harmony with these unseen forces guided every aspect of farming, hunting, and war.

Scholars such as Benedict Sandin and Clifford Sather suggest that early contact with Hindu-Minangkabau traditions from Sumatra may have influenced some aspects of Iban spirituality. These influences probably came when noblemen and their followers from the Majapahit kingdom fled westward at the end of the empire to escape persecution as Muslim rule expanded. They brought with them knowledge of rituals, governance, war, and agriculture. These ideas were slowly taken in and reinterpreted through the Iban worldview.

From this convergence emerged a cosmology rich with ritual poetry, omens, and divine intermediaries. One of its most complicated systems is augury, a sacred form of divination that reads the calls and looks of certain birds as messages from the spirit world. These omen birds are still an important part of Iban ritual life, especially during farming and community events.

Sengalang Burong, the Iban God of War and messenger of the gods, is at the heart of this belief. He established the system of augury that connects the physical world with the spiritual world. Through him, communication between the two is made possible. The living interpret every sighting and call of an omen bird as a sign from God.

Sengalang Burong: The Iban God of War

In Iban belief, Sengalang Burong is the most revered of all deities. He is remembered as both the God of War and the divine messenger who connects the world of humans with the world of gods. Many ritual invocations and prayers include his name, and people often ask him for courage, protection, and clarity.

According to oral tradition, Sengalang Burong descends from Raja Jembu, a powerful deity whose family tree goes back to Raja Durong of Sumatra. It is said that Raja Durong and his followers fled their home near the end of the Majapahit era. They brought with them religious and cultural traditions that were influenced by Hindu-Minangkabau beliefs. These encompassed ritualistic practices, frameworks of social governance, agricultural knowledge, and strategies of warfare. Over time, these ideas merged with the Iban’s indigenous worldview, creating the spiritual framework that shaped their understanding of the cosmos.

In Iban ritual liturgy, Raja Jembu is the guardian of the batu umai, which is a sacred whetstone used in Iban farming rituals. He married Endu Endat Baku Kansat, and they had six sons and one daughter together. Their children became the main pantheon of the Iban gods, Bunsu Petara. 

Sengalang Burong, the oldest son, rules from Tansang Kenyalang (Hornbill’s Nest), in a realm high in the sky. On earth, he transforms into a Brahminy Kite, known affectionately among the Iban as Aki Lang (Grandfather Lang). He guides humankind through omen birds that act as his messengers. Through these birds, he sends divine messages that govern decisions related to farming, war, and community affairs.

Sengalang Burong married Endu Sudan Berinjan Bungkong, and together they had seven daughters and one son. Each daughter married a nobleman who became one of the seven omen birds: Ketupong, Beragai, Bejampong, Pangkas, Embuas, Kelabu Papau, and Burung Malam. Nendak, the eighth omen bird, is Sengalang Burong’s faithful messenger.

These eight omen birds form the foundation of the Iban system of augury. Their calls, directions of flight, and behavior are interpreted during rituals to determine whether an action, such as starting a journey, planting paddy, or launching a war expedition—is blessed or forbidden. For the Iban, these signs are not superstition but sacred communication. They represent the continuing dialogue between the natural and the spiritual worlds, a system established by Sengalang Burong himself.

In future posts, I will explain more about each omen bird and its role within Iban augury.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

On Cultural Erasure and the Right to Be Ourselves | We Are Not Yours to Claim and Rename

This week, a man on social media told me that all Indigenous peoples of Borneo are Malay. He spoke as if it were an unbreakable truth, and a few confident sentences could change centuries of culture and memory. He talked like someone who was certain of his place in the world and couldn’t imagine that others might have histories older than his own.

I am Iban. You can’t claim and rename my people.

That one conversation was a sign of a much larger issue. It wasn’t just a rude comment but the same old narrative that keeps playing beneath the surface of national conversations. This idea that everything in the Nusantara archipelago belongs under the Malay umbrella is not unity. It is colonization in a new form that continues to erase the cultures that make this region truly diverse.

A thesis essay titled “Cultural Genocide Against Ethnic Groups in Sarawak” discusses this gradual erasure as a form of genocide that occurs through language, law, and land instead of war. It addresses what has been happening in Sarawak and all over Borneo for decades: the gradual disappearance of Indigenous ways of life. There won’t be any violence in the news, but you can see it in how children forget their native languages and how native stories are rewritten or how they are dismissed as myths.

The first impact is on the land. Large-scale logging, oil-palm plantations, and hydroelectric projects like the Bakun and Murum dams have forced Indigenous communities to evacuate ancestral lands they had occupied for generations. For many outsiders, these are symbols of progress. For the people who lived on that land, they are the loss of a living relative. Land isn’t just property; it’s a memory, a source of livelihood, and the center of our beliefs. When it is taken, the connection between people and their ancestors, between rituals and the land, ceases to exist.

The next impact is on language. Malay and English are the main languages spoken in classrooms and offices. Iban, Bidayuh, Penan, and other Indigenous languages, on the other hand, remain in private spaces. The national curriculum rarely acknowledges them. A language is more than just words; it also embodies every aspect of our heritage. When children grow up without it, they lose not only vocabulary but also the worldview embedded in those sounds. 

The third impact is spirituality. Before Christianity and Islam arrived, our ancestors believed in a cosmology that connected people, nature, and the unseen. The adat guided balance and respect. Several elements were based on Hindu-Buddhist beliefs from the Majapahit and Minangkabau traditions, but those influences became uniquely our own, shaped by our environment. If you call these beliefs primitive, you are ignoring how sophisticated they are. Long before the word existed, they taught people about law, ethics, and ecology. The suppression of these systems has shattered more than trust; it has destroyed the bridge between generations.

The last impact lies in invisibility. Bureaucracy rarely speaks the language of the natives. Many still struggle to gain recognition of their customary land rights or even simple documents like birth certificates and identity cards. People who don’t have these papers become ghosts in their own country—unseen in census numbers and uncounted in national decisions.

Taken together, these forces create the silent machinery of cultural genocide. It’s not about individual malice but about a system that values uniformity over diversity and control over respect. When progress is measured only by infrastructure and profit, it becomes a form of forgetting.

I write this not to sow division, but to call for honesty. Respect for Indigenous tribes and their histories is not charity but a moral obligation.  When you erase a culture, you do not create unity. You create emptiness. Real harmony happens when differences can exist side by side, without one overtaking the other.

If you have mixed roots and feel like you’re torn between two identities, know this: you’re not a poser. You are the result of two or more heritages coming together. You have the strength of several worlds inside you. You have every right to learn your ancestral language, honor both sides of your heritage, and talk about it with pride. You can still reach your roots and the journey begins with curiosity and grows through community.

And to those who continue to insist that “everyone is Malay,” listen up: you are not defending tradition; you are performing a modern version of the same colonial mindset you claim to oppose. Claiming and renaming others is not leadership. It’s theft. It is a refusal to accept that different roots can live together without merging into one trunk.

The Iban, Bidayuh, Kenyah, Penan, Lun Bawang, Melanau, Kelabit, and countless other groups are not extensions of a larger race. We are nations within a nation, with histories that predate borders. We have our own gods and deities, our own literature, our own rituals and way of life. We don’t need anyone to save us from ourselves.

So take care of your own culture and let us take care of ours. Guard your own identity and let us stay as ourselves. You don’t have to tell us what to believe, how to speak, or how to conduct our affairs. Preserve your own heritage and quit trying to claim ownership of what doesn’t belong to you.

This moment in our history calls for courage. We need courage to listen, fix what has been distorted, and return whatever is rightfully ours. We don’t need anyone’s permission to exist. Even when others pretend to forget, we remember. We will continue to speak, to write, to sing, and to exist in our own rhythm. We are not lesser branches of your tree. We are forests in our own right.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.

The Mouse-Deer and the Crocodile | A Classic Iban Folktale

One day, the mouse-deer (pelanduk) went out to look for food. After walking for about an hour, he reached a swamp covered in tall grass (madang melai) and water plants. Not far from there, an old Malay man named Pak Dollah was busy clearing the area to prepare it for farming.

The mouse-deer wanted to eat the fallen fruits of the simpur tree (pun buan) that grew nearby, but he was afraid Pak Dollah might see him. He moved carefully, one step at a time, hoping to stay unnoticed. But his fear was unnecessary, Pak Dollah was too focused on his work to notice anything around him. So the mouse-deer went ahead and ate the fallen fruits to his heart’s content.

When he was full, he turned to leave. Just as he was about to walk away, a female crocodile (baya indu) suddenly shouted at him.

“Hey, Mouse-Deer!” she called.

“Oh, Crocodile! You scared me!” he replied.

“You ate my eggs, didn’t you?” she accused.

“What? Of course not!” said the mouse-deer.

“Don’t lie! I saw your footprints near my nest. All my eggs are broken because of you!” the crocodile shouted angrily.

“You can’t just accuse me like that. What proof do you have?” asked the mouse-deer.

“I saw your footprints, that’s proof enough!” she insisted.

The mouse-deer tried to stay calm. “I didn’t eat your eggs. Maybe they broke because Pak Dollah accidentally cut through your nesting spot while clearing the grass. Look over there, he’s still working.”

But the crocodile didn’t believe him. “Don’t try to trick me. I know your sly ways, Mouse-Deer,” she said. “You’re so small that even if I swallowed you whole, I wouldn’t be full.”

“Alright,” she continued. “If you really didn’t eat my eggs, prove it. Let’s have a tug-of-war. If you lose, that means you’re guilty. If you win, I’ll believe you’re innocent.”

The mouse-deer pretended to think for a moment, then agreed. “Big body, small brain,” he muttered under his breath. He asked for three days to prepare, and the crocodile agreed.

When he got home, the mouse-deer sat quietly, trying to come up with a plan. He knew he could never win against the crocodile by strength alone, so he decided to use his wits. He called his friend, the tortoise (tekura), for help.

“Oh, Tortoise,” he sighed. “I’m doomed. The crocodile challenged me to a tug-of-war because she thinks I ate her eggs.”

“Don’t worry, my friend, I’ll help you,” said the tortoise calmly.

“Do you have an idea?” asked the mouse-deer.

“I do,” said the tortoise. “When the contest starts, tie your end of the rope to the coconut tree by the swamp. The crocodile won’t see it since she’ll be in the water.”

“That’s brilliant. Thank you, Tortoise,” said the mouse-deer, feeling relieved.

Three days later, the crocodile waited by the swamp.

“Hey, Mouse-Deer! Are you here yet?” she called out.

“I came earlier than you,” the mouse-deer replied.

“Are you ready?”

“I am. But before we start, we need a referee,” said the mouse-deer.

Right on cue, the tortoise appeared slowly from behind a tree. Seeing him, the crocodile quickly appointed him as referee. The tortoise pretended to be surprised but accepted.

He set the rules. “Crocodile, if your feet touch the land, you lose. Mouse-Deer, if your feet touch the water, you lose. I’ll go back and forth to make sure both of you obey the rules.”

The crocodile went into the water, holding one end of the rope in her mouth. The mouse-deer stood by the coconut tree, holding the other end. Once the crocodile was ready, the tortoise hurried to help the mouse-deer tie his rope tightly to the tree.

“Alright,” said the tortoise. “One! Two! Three! Pull!”

The crocodile pulled with all her might. Her tail whipped through the water, splashing high into the air. But no matter how hard she pulled, the mouse-deer did not move an inch. On the bank, the mouse-deer pretended to pull back with great effort, squinting and swaying from side to side as if truly struggling.

The contest went on for hours, until late afternoon. The crocodile grew exhausted and finally released the rope, gasping for breath as she crawled onto the shore. The mouse-deer still sat there, holding his end of the rope, calm and unbothered.

The tortoise approached them. “The match is over. Since the crocodile let go of the rope first and came onto land, the winner is the mouse-deer. This proves he didn’t eat your eggs. They were broken because Pak Dollah accidentally cut through your nesting ground while clearing the area. You were the one at fault for laying eggs on his land.”

“See, I told you I’m not afraid of you on land,” said the mouse-deer. “Next time, don’t accuse others without proof.”

The crocodile said nothing. Embarrassed, she quietly slipped back into the water. The mouse-deer and the tortoise looked at each other and smiled before heading home, pleased with how things turned out.

Note:

I translated and adapted this story into Malay (shared on Threads) and English (here on my blog), based on the version originally shared by Gregory Nyanggau Mawar on the Iban Cultural Heritage website.


I write about Iban culture, ancestral rituals, creative life, emotional truths, and the quiet transformations of love, motherhood, and identity. If this speaks to you, subscribe and journey with me.