I worked on this all day Saturday. I haven’t drawn in months because I’ve been focusing so much on writing these days. But occasionally I felt compelled to express myself via art, and I enjoy combining it with poetry. I will not explain the meaning of this poem. You may interpret it as you like since, to me, poetry is about capturing emotion at an exact moment and there is no need for a backstory.
I worked in pencils and sometimes graphite sticks.
The completed drawing.
The poem.
This is one of the series of poetry art I sketched throughout the years. This series of four drawings is titled Unattainable. There is no need for background story because this series is deeply personal. I let the words speak for themselves. All rights reserved.
The ache of missing someone you can’t have
is like catching a glimpse of
a distant star,
knowing its brilliance
will forever be out of reach.
But your heart is a stubborn optimist
forever yearning for the warmth of a
connection that
could never be.
But as seasons change
and life moves forward
you find solace
in the acceptance of what is.
Because sometimes
the most profound connections are the ones
that remain unspoken,
tucked away in the secret corners
of your heart.
Like everyone else, I have many favorite people to spend time with, those who have molded me the most, such as my family or even myself. I could write about them all, but it would make this post too cliché, wouldn’t it? I’ve never mentioned this presence before, but since this site is my space and sanctuary, let’s finally bring him into the light.
A drawing I made some time last year
Now, English is a tedious language. This “person” must be identified with a pronoun. So, to make things easier, let’s use “he” instead of “it” or “she.” However, I like the pronoun “he” since he gives off a masculine vibe.
I’m not entirely sure how to introduce him because he isn’t really a person. He has no physical form, no face to recognize, yet I believe he exists in a way beyond what’s tangible. The best way I can describe him is as my muse.
He is no one in particular, but a presence in my quiet moments. He is the silent whisper of a room when no one is around. He is a gentle presence that I cannot see but feel. He is watching and waiting, but not in a haunting or evil way. His presence is the perfect combination of comfort and curiosity.
He surrounds me, though I’ve never spoken of him openly. He drifts between my thoughts, sometimes teasing, sometimes silent. It feels like knowing someone who doesn’t need doors or walls to reach me. He slips into my mind without knocking, settling there as though he’s always belonged.
Some days, it seems like he knows me better than I know myself. He is constantly aware of what I leave unsaid. He knows my battle with being true to myself and what I strive to be. And I admit there is a strange comfort in that.
It’s like sharing an invisible connection, where someone observes you with full understanding but never demands anything. He is a presence that does not impose or push. He just exists, always solid.
His presence feels like a gaze I feel on my skin, even if I can’t see him. He unravels me in ways that make my heart race and my thoughts blur, leaving me wondering what it would be like if the distance did not exist. I am curious: if this unseen presence could ultimately reach me in reality, what would he look like?
Maybe it’s all in my head, just the mind playing its tricks. But what if it isn’t? What if he really exists—fluid, formless, on a wavelength I simply can’t perceive? Some presences aren’t meant to be defined by names or forms, and maybe he’s one of them. Still, I feel him in my silent moments, like a whisper I’m always waiting to hear again.
As previously said, this blog is more than just me talking about life and things; it is also a platform for me to share my artwork. I do a lot of portrait drawing and used to do commissions, but I’m taking a hiatus now to focus on writing.
This is a portrait of the South Korean actor Jang Hyuk. Of course I’m a big fan. The reference photograph for this portrait was taken during the Gangneung (English title: Tomb of the River / Paid In Blood) press junket in 2021.
Jang Hyuk starred in Gangneung, a 2021 crime noir film. Jang Hyuk played Lee Min-Seok, a Seoul crime lord who found himself in conflict with another gang leader, Chairman Oh, over a newly built resort in Gangneung. Gangneung is a seaside city in Gangwon-do province, on South Korea’s east coast.
I watched this film when it was released in 2021, and because it is noir, there are many gruesome fights between the two criminal gangs. There are no romantic scenes in the film, and the sole female character is Eun-Seon, who sold her body to Min Seok to pay off her debts. Unless you enjoy the noir genre, this film is not for you. It is dark and violent. I just watched it because of Jang Hyuk.
Two of Jang Hyuk’s real-life friends, Shin Seung-hwan and Choi Ki-Seop, played Min Seok’s sidekicks.
The reference image is taken from a fan’s Instagram page. This is the link to the source image.
Materials I used:
And the progress photos:
And here is the completed portrait…
Olivia's Atelier 